Mixed Emotions On Very Little Sleep

Today is a big day for Aiden, and of course he woke up this morning at 3:30. Not only does he have speech therapy today, but then later in the day at his normal nap time of course he will be doing part of his evaluation for early childhood.

To say that I am anxious would be an understatement. Aiden has made so much progress since may, and is doing fabulous. I do think he could do really well in early childhood, but there is still that very protective, concerned, trying not to freak out momma instinct kicking in.

When Kait went to her first day of preschool I think know that I cried more then she did. We walked in the door and she ran off to play. That was that. I thought that was how it was going to be with Hailey, but she was a little clingy and sad but then ran into her classroom and has never looked back. With Aiden I worry a lot more because I may not know if everything is ok. What if something happens and he can’t tell me about it? There is also the element of his food allergies. If someone gives him something he is not suppose to have or misses an ingredient or someone brings in birthday treats. Ugh. I am going to drive myself nuts with all of the things that could happen.

I also know how hard change is for Aiden, that is another huge part of this whole transition being so hard. Of course no one likes change, but for him the most minor change can have a huge impact on him & our family. We have been working with him to be ok with changes or when something does not go the way it is “suppose to”. Sounds silly to some, but relatable to others.

I have found an amazing support system in friends of mine & those who I have recently met who also have a child(ren) with Autism. It’s nice to know I am not alone in my concerns, fears, frustrations, etc. With the good though also comes the bad. You would not believe the comments and things said about Aiden by people who are “close” to us or so we thought. “Can you return him for a non defective version”, “Sorry you got a broken kid”, and recently my personal favorite is “Could you please stop talking about autism, it’s gets annoying that you care so much about that one thing so much”.

I don’t care about that “one thing” I care about my son! I can only hope that now that the person who said this now has a child of her own will think a little differently. Probably not, but one can hope right.

Alright, I am off to spend the morning playing w. my babies and trying to keep Aiden awake until after his eval. Praying for a smooth day, with few meltdowns!

Have a fabulous day!

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4 thoughts on “Mixed Emotions On Very Little Sleep

  1. Hugs. I need to post Morg’s brownies for you. It’s hard not knowing how things are going at school or other places. I make sure that I make it crystal clear (sometimes that requires several visits & phone calls) to the teacher & school councilor and others know there needs to be eyes & ears out for the child because they can’t or don’t communicate.
    You can do it.

    • Love you Megan! Yes please send me Morgan’s brownie recipe!! I would love it. The meeting went so so well & I feel so much better about him going. His teacher was here today along with his new speech therapy teacher… We loved them! Adam was able to come home from work for the meeting too so that was nice. The food allergy thing will be avoided by us providing his snacks rather then the school. He loved his teachers & is super excited to go buy his lunchbox & backpack!

  2. As somebody who works in a childcare/preschool/school setting, I can tell you that MOST (there is always the stray one I can’t speak for, but…) teachers are in this because they love the kids.
    I’ve been with autistic kids, and also taught kids with allergies… You’re his mommy & you’ll always worry (I’d say something’s wrong with you if you didn’t!) but know he’s going to be in good hands, probably with a teacher or two who truly cares to make sure everything goes as smooth as possible!

    • Amanda,

      I felt SO much better after the meeting! I agree most people do it because they love kids. There is always those few though who are the situations that are stuck in my head … Especially because of where I work & what we see. I am terrified of daycares & taking my kids to them. Yet another reason I loved being a stay at home momma even more! Thanks for this encouraging post though. I appreciate it!!

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