I was inspired by Leah & Molly and also asked by many of you who read this blog if I could post Aiden’s story. What a better time to post his story then right before the start of autism awareness month. I will be totally honest with you, it’s not all sunshine & roses. We have had many dark times, but we made it thru & it has made us stronger parents and a stronger, closer family. Together Adam and I will be writing these posts, our hope is that they bring you glimmer of hope but most of all support in knowing you are not alone in what can be a very isolating journey.
Boy did we got a surprise while we were away for our anniversary! Rachel and I were away and she wasn’t feeling herself. Morning sickness is something that always hit Rach like a ton of bricks and never seemed to go away. So when the queasy feelings started and the throwing up began we had a suspicion of what could be the cause but wanted to make sure. We changed our dinner plans and made a quick trip to Meijers to pick up a small box that would tell us if we were going to be adding to our family much sooner then planned. Watching the hourglass turn and turn before popping up a “Pregnant” was a moment of many emotions. Excitement she is a wonderful mom and I would love to have another kiddo running around. Anxiety Hailey is only six months old. Faith everything happens for a reason and my sister and I are only 11 months and 11 days apart … we turned out ok. Rach, she had one main emotion during the moment of what if, simply put … anxiety. She was just starting to feel like herself again and settling into being a mom of two.
I will freely admit it!! I was FREAKING OUT at the thought of a baby when I already had a new’ish baby at home. We didn’t go “away” we went to a hotel in town because I didn’t want to be too far away from Hailey. I also had just started feeling like I had my body back to myself. I was able to eat what I want without having to worry if I would end up getting sick. The idea of another baby already had me panicking. Of course Adam and I wanted more kids, I just didn’t mean six months after the first one was born haha. It has now become a joke because, we have a few willow tree figurines & at the time we had them over our headboard. We now put them on another wall then over our headboard :)
My pregnancy with Aiden was by far the hardest & at times we spent more time scared then excited about the baby we would soon be bringing into the world. With each pregnancy, I had more complications then the last. Yet, those 8 months of carrying him is an experience I will forever cherish.
Almost three years ago, I was in a hospital bed and we were getting ready to meet our precious baby boy. We had yet to meet him, to hold him & to look into his eyes but we could not have loved him anymore. Thinking about that day, we both can clearly remember it like it was yesterday. Waiting for my amnio to find out if his lungs were developed enough was something that I care not to remember like it was yesterday. Looking back on it now, this was just the beginning of the poking and prodding to come later on down the road. His lungs were developed and the induction began. Two days later, he took our breath away as he took his first one.
One thing I love about Rachel is how in tune she is with our kids. She knows them better then anyone else & when things started to seem different with Aiden then it did with the girls she took notice. As a dad, I knew they all had colic, but when the doctors office brushed Aiden’s crying and constant screaming off as colic Rachel wasn’t ready to just accept that it was just a third colicky baby.
A moment that stands out to both of us that were were talking about as we are writing this is a couple of weeks after he was born. We were eating dinner at Olive Garden, and Aiden screamed the entire time. He would not keep his blankets on, was constantly pulling at his clothes & was inconsolable. Looking back on it now and knowing what we do, it could have been the feeling of his clothes, the noise level of all of those people around us having their own conversations, the feeling of his skin rubbing on the cover of the car seat or a thousand other things. While we will never know what made him spend many weeks screaming, we are pretty confident it saying it was not all because of colic. It is very much like what it is like when we go out to dinner with him now & something is not right.
He was hitting some milestones on time, but not all. For the most part everything seemed right, but even back then we had a special way of doing things for Aiden. He always needed more of a routine then the girls ever did & the smallest change for him would send him into a meltdown. Back then it was hard to tell what we were doing or not doing that would make him so upset. We were always playing the guessing game of his needs. Sometimes we would say, every baby is different as if that was the reason things didn’t seem the same as they had been with the girls.
Stay tuned for the next post – Aiden’s Story Part 2