The past few months have included a lot of changes, some positive, some not so positive & some very unexpected. If you know me, then you know that I am not a fan of surprises the bad kind you wish you had some warning about, but I am firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Good or bad, there is a reason for it.
A few months ago I left a job that I once loved, and while the reasons don’t really matter I went thru a period of being really upset that I left something that I loved doing. I miss the volunteers who I supervised & I miss working in a field that I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life working in. Unfortunately the timing and other circumstances were signs that this is not the job for me at this time. I have really been feeling like I wasted my time and for what? Yes, I met some amazing people who I am lucky enough to call my friends, but it hit me a couple of weeks ago that it wasn’t for nothing.
One rainy day I met a little boy who forever changed my life and although I didn’t it know it that night when I said bye to him, that night would not be the only time I would see him. You can’t ever prepare yourself for meeting a sexual assault survivor for the first time, especially not when it is a child. We talked about many things that night, but the one thing I will never forget is him telling me about wanting to become an engineer so he could build roller coasters.
His favorite candy bars are milk ways, so he wanted to build a milk way theme coaster. We talked about everything from the color of the cars, to the color of the track. How many turns there would be & how fast it would go. He paused for a moment and said “Do you like roller coasters?” .. Of course I had to be honest and tell him “I actually don’t. I am very afraid of heights, so I don’t go on them very often”. He then looked at me with his beautiful blue eyes and said “Tonight I was really scared and then you came here, now I am not scared anymore. Maybe we can ride my roller coaster together and then you won’t be scared anymore.”
That precious little boy came into my life again about a month ago. He and his family are now a part of our lives. His mother said to me today when I ran into her “you were just what my son needed when I didn’t know what he needed. All I can say even though it’s not enough is THANK YOU”. No pay check, no promotion, nothing could every compare to that one moment. Little does she know that her little boy forever changed my life & I can’t thank him enough for that.
For the past couple of months I have been questioning my major and what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I have been going back and forth about if this field is really what I want to do with my life. After my momentary conversation with that little boy and his mom today, I feel like I have an answer. I don’t know what I will do with the rest of my life, but I won’t be giving up on a field that I am passionate about & love working in.
I have learned a lot from every positive and negative from this experience that will only help me be a better human being and eventually a better advocate.